Candice in the US with the twins and her friend Heather (top left)

“My story with God began as a 'kingdom kid' in the East Region of the Johannesburg Church of Christ. I loved being there. I have the fondest memories of Monja Delport who invested in me, and loved me. She made me feel seen and safe, even though I was an awkward little girl. I loved being the flower girl at her wedding. When I was nine, my family left the church, but I stayed connected through my Uncle Paul and Aunt Jacqui Smith. I spent my holidays with them, doing family devotionals, or accompanying them as they fulfilled their church-related responsibilities. Watching how they lived created a desire in me to also be in the ministry one day.

A fruitless search

As time went on, I silenced those desires. The world became my oyster. At 15, clubbing, smoking hub, and marijuana, became rituals that fuelled destructive behaviour. I felt lonely, angry, and utterly broken. I gave myself to the world, but the more I gave, the emptier I felt. I looked for my belonging in men to fill the gaping hole in my heart. But it left me feeling void of purpose. I prayed to God, hoping that he could fill it, but knew that I was separated from Him because of the way I chose to live. I realised if I continued on that journey, I’d ultimately destroy myself.

Getting back to God

I decided to go back to church, and when I saw Monja again, I still felt loved, and seen, even though many years had passed. We started studying the Bible. It was exceptional how her love for me made such a massive contribution in me finding God. She loved me in such a beautiful way, but I still battled with the idea that I could be worthy of God’s love.

The night before my baptism, I was at a church family camp. In my tent, under a tree, I poured my heart out to God with loud cries, begging him for a sign that He loved, and wouldn’t abandon me as I chose to give my life to him.  As my tears dried, I opened my eyes, and there was a street light shining over the tent in the shape of a perfect heart. It stretched out and covered the entire tent. I knew then that I could trust a God that planted a tree and moulded every branch and leaf to comfort me at that moment. I was baptised on 18 October 2015 at the age of 18.